Bread Fail

Turns out I’m not that awesome, in case you were wondering. Thought I’d save some cash money (and throw in a little good nutrition while I’m at it) by baking some homemade whole wheat bread. AND I even did it the easy ways by throwing all the ingredients into a bread maker. It came out like this.

That’s what I refer to as a “bread wad.” Oh, and here it is next to my phone so you can get a frame of reference how truly sad it is.

Who messes up bread with a bread maker? Granola Mom does. It’s a work in progress, remember? We’re in this together.

As it turns out, The Wild One actually loved said bread wad and I caught him sneaking it all throughout the day. While I was making dinner, I even turned around and saw him sitting at the table, yanking handfuls out of it…impressive muscles by the way, since it’s obviously dense.  It warmed my heart and concerned me a little at the same time. 🙂

Anyway, my roommate in college was such an amazing cook (among other things) and she would often bake loaves of this stuff randomly. We’d come home from long and stressful days to the smell of heaven baking in the oven. Then we’d all sit around the table and eat it with butter and jam, laughing, talking, bonding.  It was perfection. I had this vision in mind when I was baking this loaf, but it wasn’t in the cards.  I guess I’m going back to the drawing board.

It’s a good recipe though.  May you have better luck than me!

Big John’s Basic Whole Wheat Bread (makes 5-6 loaves)

  • 6 cups warm water
  • 2/3 cup canola oil (you can substitute applesauce)
  • 2/3 cup honey
  • 3 Tbs. yeast
  • 3 Tbs. dough enhancer
  • 2 Tbs. salt
  • 3 Tbs. vital wheat gluten
  • 10-12 cups whole wheat flour (or 6-8 cups wheat if you want to grind your own).

Mix all ingredients except for the whole wheat flour.

Gradually add remaining flour until you can knead it with your hands. Knead it for 7-10 minutes.  Put in a greased bowl.  Cover.  Let it rise until doubled.  Punch it down.  Knead it a second time 7-10 minutes.  Divide and shape into 5-6 loaves.   Place in slightly greased bread pans.  Let rise until doubled.  Bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes.

mmmmmmmm….I can almost smell it baking now.

By the way, have you ever noticed the thousands of ingredients in “healthy whole wheat bread?”  There’s usually 15-20 ingredients to give it a longer shelf life.  I originally had a plan to eat ONLY homemade bread, but that’s not realistic.  I have two babies and they need their mom.  I’d rather be giving them the attention they need than be kneading dough all day long. BUT, I do throw some in the bread maker when I can.  I can always make my own real bread when my kiddos start school right?  Anyway, when I do buy it from the store, I always try to buy it as natural as possible.  I found a local brand here that has: wheat, yeast, salt, oil, raisins.  And it’s delicious. It will tide me over until I can slave away in the kitchen.

Good luck!

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4 comments on “Bread Fail

  1. You totally made my day 🙂 I LOVE getting your blog updates! It makes me miss you tons – I need to come down and visit!!

    I’m sure this “bread wad” was probably the first time this has ever happened, and I’m sure you can blame it on the change in weather 🙂

    I did a review/comparison on two breadmakers for one of my dad’s websites a few months back using a basic whole wheat bread recipe for the breadmaker (one that he has tweaked so that it turns out a decent loaf in the machine)….here is the link. The recipe is down the review a little ways. http://www.breadmachinedigest.com/reviews/bread-machine-reviews/zojirushi-cec-20-breadmaker.php If you’re looking for a decent whole wheat bread, it’s good! Hope this helps!

    • Granola Mom says:

      YES! Thank you Brittany! I remember you using the bosche too right? Maybe I will have you do a guest post on here talking about your bread machine reviews. What do you think?

  2. Punane Lehvik says:

    had a bread fail myself the other day.

    in my country real bread or bread bread is made of rye and leavened with starter. about a year ago i would make this real bread almost weekly and it was amazing. for about 5 months i haven’t bothered to make any so i though that i should start up again.
    i messed around with the starter (a real Estonian woman creates her own) and it seemed to be coming along nicely. i started the bread making process and everything seemed to be alright. even the electric oven in my new flat didn’t protest which it usually does when i try to bake something.
    but when i took the bread out, it was apparent, that the oven had been on too high, which means that the crust had solidified too thick and early leaving the inside totally unbaked.
    so total crap. and i missed classes for this.

    • Granola Mom says:

      It’s so disappointing isn’t it? Whenever I start to make bread I get so proud of myself and if it turns out bad, it’s a big let down. Keep trying! We’ll get it right soon!

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